Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Running: Day 19

Motivational Quote: "The hardest thing about exercise is to start doing it.  Once you are doing exercise regularly, the hardest thing is to stop." - Erin Gray

Run Time: 20:00

Distance: 1.93 mi.

Average min/mi: 10:24

Calories Burned: 189

~~~
 
My body felt so heavy this morning and all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep.  Even while running my body was heavy.  I ran, but I didn't complete the run and I powerwalked part of the way.  I've been feeling so discouraged.  Not about running or eating well, but about getting my room unpacked and finding a job.  I haven't really put in anywhere except for Huntington because I've been working on getting my room organized.  I'm scared that Huntington won't call me back.  I almost feel like my five years at LCSC was a waste of time.  What's the point of getting a degree in something that I can't use?  Why didn't I think of this before?  Why didn't I get something more practical?  All my friends' lives seem to be going great -- they are married, have kids, or are getting great jobs -- while I'm here.  Unemployed.  No boyfriend.  Living with my parents.  I'm just so tired of not getting what I want.  No one wants to hire an English graduate.  Apparently it's not something that's in demand.  I've looked and I can't hardly find anything that pertains to my major.  I just want someone to tell me it's going to be okay.  I want someone to say that Huntington will call me and that I'll get this job.  I know I have to apply for other jobs, and I will.  I just really want this one.  If I don't get it, I feel like I'm going to be miserable for the year.
 
I don't want to do anything today, but I have some lunch with friends.  While I'm really looking forward to seeing them, I'm feeling ashamed that I haven't found a job yet and they both are so happy with their lives.  I feel like I'm not going to bring much to the table.
 
I know I shouldn't be thinking this way.  I know that I need to stay positive, but it's so hard sometimes.  I just want to crawl back in my bed and forget that today ever happened.
 
Here we go.
 
Kelly-Rae

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