Running: Day 8

Motivational Quote: "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in the muscles." - Alex Karras

Favorite Running Song of the Day: "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

Run Time: 20:00

Distance: 1.91 mi.

Average min/mi: 10:29

Calories Burned: 189

~~~

I have a hard time pushing myself.  I didn't complete the set.  I had two more to go and I decided to give up.  I'm not mad or disappointed in myself, but I knew I could do it because I've done it before.  I want to blame it on my skip day yesterday, but I know that's not it.  I just was getting tired and I didn't push myself.  I need to find better ways to push myself.  The motivational quotes help a bit in the morning, at least to help me get up and go.  But while I'm running and I'm sweating and I'm keeping my breathing steady and I'm ignoring the dryness in my throat and that my side is hurting and that I may have swallowed a bug, I need something for that.  I know that if I want to lose weight and gain muscle and get stronger I have to push myself.  I know I can do it.  I know I can.  I just have to make my body do it.

I've been doubting myself a lot recently.  I think it's because I'm graduating and I don't have a job lined up and all the jobs so far that I've applied to have passed on me.  Not that I want to work at Urban Outfitters for my entire life, but I need a job for a year.  I'm worried that my life isn't on track and I feel like I don't know what I'm doing.  I feel like I'm not smart enough for the things I want in life.  The thing is, is that I know I am.  I am smart and I know that I can get what I want if I only try, but there's always that small voice that tells me to go back to Dairy Queen because that's the best job I'll ever have.

I don't know if that's a phase I'm going through or if I really need to talk about it to someone.  My friends are great because I know they will always lift me up and tell me I'm awesome, but sometimes I'm unsure if they're saying that because they believe it or if they feel they need to.

Okay, this has gotten way too depressing.

I did have a good time on my run.  I wish I had finished it, but I'm glad I at least went.  The favorite song of the day is kind of the best thing ever right now.  "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis is definitely something to check out.  I just watched the music video and it's kind of awesome once you get past the opening scene.

Well, I'm going to get ready for the day and I hope that I learn how to push myself tomorrow.  I'm determined to finish that set.

Here we go.

Kelly-Rae